


A Painting Of Birds

by fingersntoes



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Coma, Dreams, Fear, Hospital, M/M, Memories, Regret, Regrets, Scott - Freeform, Shaken, Shame, Stiles, Unrequited Love, Unspoken, car crash, derek - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-08
Updated: 2013-04-08
Packaged: 2017-12-07 18:04:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/751434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fingersntoes/pseuds/fingersntoes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek wakes up in the parking lot of Beacon Hills hospital with a dozen missed calls and texts from Stiles.</p><p> </p><p>It’s early evening, and he’s late.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Painting Of Birds

**Author's Note:**

> This fic title and theme were loosely based on the song Painting of Birds by Dinner Party Ambiance.

 

“Derek...”

The hand that fell on Derek’s shoulder caused him to go tense as he slowly lifted his head to see Scott standing beside him. The frown on Scott’s expression told Derek what he already knew. Stiles hadn’t woken up yet.

“Derek you have to go home, you've been here for three days now… Let me take post, I’ll call you if he wakes up.”

“I don’t know Scott.” Derek sat back in the chair beside the hospital bed as he drew his hand back. Looking up to Stiles face he frowned. Since the car accident, Derek hadn’t left the hospital room aside from when the staff had insisted he leave in order to get some rest himself. Occasionally Scott managed to convince him to go home for a few hours, but in the end, Derek always found himself back at the hospital with his palm resting over Stiles wrist, dozing off to the sound of his pulse.

“Just a couple of hours, Derek... Try and get some rest.”

Derek sighed quietly with a nod of his head as he rose up to his feet. “Okay... okay...”

Taking a final look back at Stiles before offering Scott a faint smile, Derek headed out of the room and down the hall to the main parking lot. Once he got to his car, he sat down in the driver’s seat and stared back at the hospital.

* * *

-

“Get out!”

The sound of Stiles voice shattering through the hospital hallway was enough to send his leg back in a shift of weight as he stared blankly.

“If you could just get over your emotional bullshit for one day and think about anyone but yourself.. Just... Just get out.”

Derek hadn't known how to respond at that point. They’d been getting in more fights as of late and really, he knew it was his own fault. The emotional hang-ups that he struggled with had always been a source of trouble between the two of them.

This last fight had left Derek ignoring his phone for only a handful of hours, but in that handful of hours Sheriff Stilinski had suffered a heart attack and wound up in the hospital. He’d picked up his phone to over a dozen missed calls and texts from Stiles.

“I need you.” They’d said.

“Please come to the hospital.”

“Derek, it’s my dad! My dad is in the hospital.”

“I need you.”

By the time he’d walked down the hall everyone was already there, including Erica, Boyd and Isaac. The anger was evident in Stiles expression. Scorn to shatter through his spine as he chewed on his lower lip thoughtfully only to get the verbal chew out of a lifetime.

He turned and went to wait in his car.

* * *

Derek snapped his head up with a short gasp as he looked around the parking lot. What day was it? What year was it? Sitting himself up right he reached his hands out for the steering wheel to grip it tightly as he leaned his forehead down.

 

Since the accident he’d been having more of these dreams, more of these memories that reeled in his mind like glimpses into his past.

* * *

The sound of Stiles gasping up to the ceiling felt like an admission. Derek thrusted himself steadily as his hands slid up his sides and the length of his arms to hold his wrists high above his head. This wasn’t like the first time when they’d both been so new to the concept of being with one another. This was exploration, a continuation of what had already been established.

 

Derek’s mouth came down along the line of his throat as he kissed and rested his lips along the line of his pulse. After the heart attack things hadn't been the same. Derek struggled to remember why they were fighting so much. These moments of intimacy overwhelmed him and for a moment it was quiet until the arching of Stiles back told him they’d climaxed together.

 

He just wasn’t sure if this climax was selected to sex.

* * *

The acceptance letter came in a sealed envelope with the school logo embossed on the front. He held it in his hands with tension in his brow that caused the corner of his mouth to tug at a frown.

 

Stiles hadn't gotten home yet from School and typically Derek would wait for him but he wasn't sure he was ready for the news inside.

 

Of course he would be accepted to MIT.

Of course he would move across the country.

Of course Derek couldn't leave Beacon Hills, even if he wanted to at this point.

* * *

Derek stops responding to his phone for close to a week after they fight over Stiles going to college so far away. He comes off controlling and needy while Stiles dismissive attitude causes the bile in his stomach to churn.

They collide into one another and make love in desperation. Derek leaves afterwards and Stiles is left to feel abandoned and cold.

* * *

It’s early August when Stiles tells Derek he doesn't want to see him anymore. Their fight ends in screams as Stiles uses all of his weight to shove Derek away from him. Derek pleads for time and apologizes for not being able to support him in the way that he needs. He admits to being frightened for the future, frightened that he’s losing him but at this point Stiles can hardly be bothered to listen.

Stiles spends his remaining weeks packing while his family and friends plan his going away party. He tries to put on a smile but with the recent weight of his tarnished relationship hanging on his memory he finds it hard to focus.

After the party, Stiles goes up to his room to find a simple package with a new flannel inside of it. There is no name, but it’s the same one that he’d been looking at with Derek the last time they’d gone out. He holds the shirt to his chest as he slinks down to the floor in front of his bed and finally allows himself to cry.

Derek listens from a distance but knows he can’t go to him.

* * *

The sound of tapping on the glass pulls Derek from his disjointed memories as the security guard wakes him in a jolt. Derek draws his tongue over his lip as he opens his door to look up to the police officer.

“Officer?”

“Just checking that you’re alright, it’s pretty late son... You should probably go home.”

He doesn’t want to listen but part of him knows he should. He’s running on empty these days but he doesn't want to be any further away than he has been for the past five years. With all of the thumping hearts from the hospital he’s managed to locate Stiles and the faint sound was the only thing that harnessed him from losing his mind entirely.

Nodding to the police officer, he managed a small smile. “Yeah... You’re probably right.”

He shuts the car door then and finally turns his car on. Derek starts to drive in what feels like a haze until he finally reaches his driveway. Turning the car off he looks at the structure with a nostalgia that makes his stomach tighten.

* * *

“What do you mean you don’t have Internet yet?”

Derek blinked very slowly as he lifted his head from his phone to the other across the room staring at his laptop screen, and finally back to Derek. Bewildered. The tension that had been loosening over the past few months was starting to return between his shoulder blades.

It felt like Stiles was always over now.

He sat on the floor because the couch Derek had was from the thrift store and uncomfortable. On the nights Scott covered for him, he attached his video game console to a small television and played until it was late, his head rested on Derek’s thigh while the alpha dozed in and out of consciousness.

The air in the room always felt hot and thick when Stiles was around, every night felt like summer.

* * *

The crashing of thunder sent a jolt down Derek’s spine as he snapped himself upright only to find that he was still in the car.

Reaching for his phone as he sat back and pawed one of his hands over his face, he attempted to bring up the clock only to find that his battery had died.

He knew it was dead.

Why did he leave the Hospital when he knew Scott couldn't reach him?

The bile that rose in his throat felt nauseating as he fumbled for his car keys only to start making his way back to the Hospital once more.

* * *

“What is wrong with you?”

Derek stands frozen in Stiles backyard. There isn't anyone around right now except for him. There are tears streaking down his cheeks as he looks back to Derek with as much resentment as he can muster.

“I want to be with you. I want to be in your life. Why isn't that enough?”

 

He pauses to brush the back of his palm underneath his nose as he takes another step back toward the house.

“You’re pushing me away. You always push me away”

There is a long pause. He feels cold and he doesn't know what to say.

“… And I’m **going** away, Derek…You’re never going to see me again…”

* * *

His legs feel numb as he walks into the hospital again and signs himself in.

They don’t want him here, and he knows that. It’s late and it’s no time to be visiting, but he’s spent so much time in the hospital lately that they’ve stopped questioning him.

When he walks into the hospital room, Scott isn't there.

Taking his seat back in the hospital chair he reaches his hand out for Stiles wrist and his skin feels icy. Panic riddles through him.

“Derek..”

Looking up to Stiles face he feels all the air leave his lungs as they lock gazes with one another.

“Stiles..”

His lips mumble out the word as his fingers curl around his wrist and Stiles tightens his jaw to shift his weight in order to look over at him properly.

“What are you doing here?”

The question stings him in a way he can’t really explain.

“I.. I heard you were back in town, Scott told me about the accident.”

“He says you've been here a lot.”

Stiles nearly smiles, the corner of his mouth twitching.

“Worried about you.”

They both know the words they’re saying, even if they’re not willing to admit what they’re really talking about.

“Why now?”

Derek feels sick to his stomach as he draws his tongue over his bottom lip slowly and moves himself a little closer. He’s falling apart. Everything is falling apart.

“I never stopped, I just… I didn't know how to be okay for you. You changed me, Stiles. I know we’re not ever going to get back what we had, good or bad… What you meant to me…”

* * *

Derek wakes up staring at a painting of birds in the waiting room. There is no sound anymore. The windows looking out to the parking lot are black. There are no heartbeats to thud in his ears; there are no whispers to hear. Turning to the main door he can see the nurses and orderlies running and he doesn't need to know where they’re going anymore.

 

Derek sits and he watches as Scott and Allison go rushing down the hall with them and he knows it’s over. The corner of his eyes sting with the forewarning of tears and he knows he can’t move. Closing his eyes, Derek leans his head back and looks up to the ceiling. It’s raining outside.

* * *

Derek wakes up in the parking lot of Beacon Hills hospital with a dozen missed calls and texts from Stiles.

It’s early evening, and he’s late.


End file.
